‘There is in every child at every stage a new miracle of vigorous unfolding.’
Erik Erikson (1902-1994)
Erik Erikson is/was one of the most influential writers on the psychology of childhood. It’s a little old these days (rather psychoanalytical) but this quote is undoubtedly true.
In fact it’s so true as to be positively trite. Any parent knows the wonder of their own child’s development. That first word, that first step, the first act of altruism are all beautiful things to behold. My children are still growing up and I fond myself looking at their growing intellects and characters with a mixture of curiosity and awe.
Since first writing this post I have also begun training as a child and adolescent psychotherapist. I’m almost finished with the training now and have seen this unfolding take place in my child clients. I even spent a year observing the development of a baby from neonate to near-toddler. It was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.
Growth doesn’t have to end when you reach the age of 18. In fact it can’t and never will. We’re never set in stone.
It doesn’t hurt to be reminded of this fact every now and then. Sometimes I look at myself and see the thinning hair and the deepening lines. Despite this there often seems nothing major to mark until I reach retirement age.
At least that’s what you’d think if you weren’t observing closely enough.
Do your days just drift idly by?
Each day blurs into the next and it’s easy to allow the days to drift by without noticing the changes which incrementally accrue. Every now and then, however, one of my children will say something or other which causes me to wonder “how did she learn that?” Every so often I’ll notice something different about my own self and wonder when it happened.
You learn and change every day. You are never the same two days running
You don’t have to become intolerably self-absorbed in order to notice changes within your own self. I’m beginning to notice how I grow a little more tolerant of slow drivers, for example. I’ll notice changes in my wife as she, like me, ages. I’ll wonder at the development of my children and will then look at them with fresh eyes for a while until the daily demands of life take hold once more.
This is a lesson in itself. How often do we take the time to sit and wonder at the growth of our children, of our gardens, of the seasons which often roll by unremarked? How often do we look at ourselves, notice developments and take a few moments in order to reflect upon how we might arrest or develop them.
More patient of slow drivers? That’s something to develop, surely. Less tolerant of life’s everyday frustration? Find out what’s going on and do something about it.
If you’re unable to resist a slide into bad habits, anger or depression then that would be a good time to seek help. However, the self-awareness comes first.
Hypnotherapy could help you with that, I help my clients to develop more self-awareness in order that they can see the problems coming sooner. They then have the opportunity to do something about it.
I work to turn my clients into acting as their own therapists, in order that they can thrive and make changes to their lives. I help these changes to become consolidated. You’ll find no quick fixes at Resolved! Hypnotherapy. I will work to help you make changes permanent.
If you’d like to be more self-aware in order that you can foster and direct change then why not get in touch? Every day I work with men and women in Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford and Thame in order to help them to grow in ways they see as being positive.
Appreciate what you have!
It’s all about being more present in the moment you’re in right now.
Take the time to appreciate what you have – in the here and now – rather than dwell on the past or live life in the hope that the future will make things all come good.
We only have the here and now. If you find this difficult, and my clients often do, then why not give me a call and we can change the way you see your life, yourself and your world. Hypnotherapy, in the hands of a skilled and ethical hypnotherapist, is very good at such things.
We don’t follow neat stages of development and you haven’t finished developing yet!
We don’t even stop growing at the age of 40. Carl Rogers, one of the great 20th century thinkers in psychotherapy, called this never-ending process of growth “actualisation.”
We are built to grow, to change and to develop throughout every hour of our lives – right up until the end. Marie de Hennezel, a famous writer and thinker in France, worked in a hospice and saw patients changing and “actualising” in their very last hours.
What this means for us is that we never have the excuse of being “too old” to change. There’s no such thing as a dog being too old to learn new tricks and whoever first coined that phrase has a lot to answer for.
Never stop believing in the possibility of change, of growth, of positive self-development. If you want to change badly enough then you’ll find a way If you need help to do so then perhaps that’s where I come in.
You can continue to change, to grow until your very last breath
I’m in London today, writing this before I begin working with clients. At the train station I got talking with a man who asked what I do for a living. When I told him what I do he stated that it must be very draining to work with depressed and anxious people all day, every day.
‘Not at all’, I replied. I love what I do because I’m helping people in all stages of life to make the very best of themselves. I help them to become the very best possible person they can be. I love what I do and find it energising, inspirational and immensely fulfilling.
I have clients in their 70s, learning to let go of life-long habits of depression and anxiety. I have a client in her 80s who is learning to become more confident. Clients in their 60s are letting go of fears and phobias. I use hypnotherapy in Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame to help people to ‘actualise’ and it doesn’t matter how old they may be.
I don’t care if you’re eight or eighty years of age. You can and you will make those changes you wish to make in your life. Again, if you need a little help then contact me here. It’ll be you doing all the work but I would be glad to accompany you along the way.