If you’re struggling to escape the effects of an extra-marital affair then hypnotherapy could help you.
Hello. If you’re living in or around Reading, Oxford, Wallingford, Thame or London and would like some help in recovering after an affair then perhaps hypnotherapy could help you. I’ve used hypnotherapy for affair recovery with plenty of clients and I’m certain that it could be of use to anyone, no matter in which part of the affair scenario they find themselves.
If you’re here because you need some help then I’m sorry. Please be assured that you’re far from alone. Perhaps you’re one of the affair partners and somehow believed that you’d beat the statistics. Very few affairs make it to term and even if you end up marrying one another, survival rates for such marriages are dreadfully poor. You were truly up against it from the start.
Perhaps you’re the cheated upon partner. If so, again, I’m sorry that you’re in such an awful position. Your world may feel as if it has completely fallen apart. There is, however, a way forward. It won’t be easy, of course, but if you’re feeling hopeless then please give me a call. I could help make the process of recovery easier.
Hypnotherapy for recovering from an affair has helped a great many people. If you’re presently suffering then perhaps you could be the next.
You’re far from alone!
If you’re one of the affair partners then you quite possibly knew, deep down, it wasn’t likely to end prettily. You knew this. You read about it. You googled it and then ignored what you had read. If you’re here now then perhaps a sense of self-recrimination is making things worse. I’m sorry if this is so. You’re far from alone. So many people have gone before you and countless others will follow on.
Perhaps you’re here because your marriage is one of the very many which experiences infidelity. A great many do. If you’re the betrayed spouse then I feel truly sorry for your pain. That destruction of your dreams, your trust, your love can seem impossible to overcome. It can, however, be done. It won’t be easy but it can be done.
If you want to rebuild your marriage and if both partners are invested in the process, it can be done.
Even if you decided to end the marriage then psychotherapy and hypnotherapy could be of use. The thoughts, the feelings, the sense of betrayal, they can feel completely overwhelming at times. The understandably violent eruption of these feelings, from time to time, is probably making the recovery of your marriage more problematic. Hypnotherapy can help you, one step at a time.
I have worked with every part of the triangle in the past. I offer non-judgemental support and approaches which could help you to move beyond it all, perhaps more easily than you could ever imagine being possible. Please get in touch if you would like to discuss what I have to offer in more depth and detail.
Betrayed? Cheater? Affair Partner? Everyone is hurt by the end of an affair
Perhaps you’re the person who began the affair, seeking love, passion and affection in another person when it felt as if it were lacking at home.
It may be that you developed cold-feet, guilt or shame and concluded that you would never leave your spouse, thus ending the affair whilst still suffering all the pain of the separation from your affair partner.
Perhaps you realised, at some point in the affair, that you still loved your spouse but also thought yourself to be in love with the other person. Perhaps you were in love. Perhaps it was just lust or simply a strong dose of infatuation. Whatever it really is, or was, it was powerful stuff and knocked you flying.
It may be that you were committed to leaving but that your affair partner grew tired of waiting. Few people, when beginning an affair, realise how difficult it will turn out to be. Being the ‘other woman’ or man is rarely straightforward. The excitement and the love can so easily turn to resentment, envy and self-loathing. After all, the married partner can seem to have it all whilst you’re sat there, alone and waiting, waiting, waiting.
Cheating is rarely easy and affairs often end when one person grows tired of being the ‘other woman or man’. Perhaps you’re that man or woman who was going through the process of getting their head around the idea of leaving their spouse, their home, their family, when the other half of your affair unexpectedly pulled the plug. That can be hard. Really hard.
I’ve worked with it all in Reading, Oxford, London and elsewhere. Hypnotherapy in combination with psychotherapy can help you to process your pain in order to find a way out of the mess.
Never underestimate the stress involved in an affair. It may feel great at first but the reality soon bites.
Affairs are highly stressful and one of the partners often comes to the conclusion that the cons outweigh the pros. When they call it a day the rejected lover has all the pain of a heartbreak, nobody to talk to (nobody sympathetic, at least) and all the additional burdens of guilt, shame and regret, should they be the one in a committed relationship.
Whether you’re left with the realisation that you love your spouse after all, have fallen irretrievably out of love with your spouse and yet remain financially unready to leave, or are simply terrified of taking such momentous decisions, the end of an affair is a pain unlike any other.
All the usual grief is there but your friends are as likely to bollock you as empathise. There are few songs about heartbreak, on the radio, which lend sympathy to cheaters, or their partners. Your grief is your burden and society will lend you little sympathy.
I have worked with enough people in this situation to be able to understand the position in which they find themselves. Society may offer little sympathy but I could offer empathy, understanding and a way of processing the feelings, learning from events and moving into a happier future.
Well, help is at hand. I’ve worked with many people in your position and I can help you to process your heart-break and let go of your pain. I offer non-judgemental counselling, psychotherapy and hypnotherapy in order than you can learn practical ways of dealing with your grief. You can learn from this, grow stronger from this and never make those same mistakes again.
Call me on 07786 123736 / 01183 280284 / 01865 600970 or email me at paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk
I bet you’re a little out of practice with all this
In all likelihood you’ve not felt feelings like this for years, perhaps decades. You wonder how you can maintain that necessary poise around your family whilst grieving the loss of a lover. Shouldn’t this be something you left behind in your twenties?
That was a rhetorical question. As you’ve discovered, heart-break doesn’t respect age. I’ve worked with people in their sixties who were suffering the pain of a difficult break-up.
How can you cope with a broken heart AND the guilt and shame of having lied, deceived and cheated so much, for so long? How can you cope with all this AND begin to rebuild your relationship with your spouse, if such is your aim?
What if you’ve been caught out and are suffering ALL of the above whilst having to handle the anger, tears, mistrust and aggression of your betrayed spouse? What if you’ve been caught and your affair partner just isn’t interested anymore? You’ve lost it all! How horrible must that feel?
It’s tough. Very tough. I see clients for this kind of thing on a regular basis. I understand how dreadful it can be. Rest assured, however. Hypnotherapy can help! It has helped dozens of people before you fell into the same traps. It can help you!
What if you’re the affair partner?
Emotional pain and physical pain are processed in the same part of the brain, which is why so many people describe heartbreak as being physically painful.
Furthermore, love is addictive. The dopamine, the endorphins and the oxytocin caused you to feel so good for so long and now they’ve been withdrawn. It’s no wonder you’re craving those good feelings and are feeling flat, miserable and depressed without them. You’re going through cold turkey!
If you’re the affair partner who spent an age waiting, having been promised that your lover would leave, then I’m sorry. Whether they decided to end the affair and return to their spouse or whether you decided that you’d waited more than enough, your part in the affair triangle is as hard as any.
It doesn’t matter who ended the affair, it’s painful nonetheless and, what’s more, you’re probably all alone with it. I expect you kept it a secret from most people and now you can’t cry on their shoulders about the affair you could never confess to in the first place.
It’s even worse if you’re now beating yourself up with thoughts such as ‘why did I allow myself to be involved with a married person?’, ‘why did she win?’, ‘I wasted so much time on him/her….’ or other such things. The pain can be acute and yet seem endless.
I’m sorry if you find yourself in this position. Rather than spend any longer wondering what he or she is up to and why you’re the one left all alone, get some help. You can learn to let go of the grief, to stop allowing obsessive thoughts to dominate every waking hour and to move forward with your life. Hypnotherapy could help you and I’d be glad to show you a way of coping as you learn to move on.
What if you’re the betrayed spouse? What can you do?
I’m pretty certain that this is the hardest role of all to play. If you’ve discovered that your partner is having an affair then the pain, the disgust, the anger, the sense of utter betrayal can feel impossible to manage.
Everything you once held as certain can feel a lie. Can you ever trust him or her again? Do you even want to try? Images, thoughts and feelings are racing around at a hundred miles per hour and nothing seems to help to calm them.
For couples with children, the sheer scale of the practicalities involved in any potential divorce can appear earth-shatteringly terrible to contemplate. Can you even bear to go through with it Can you bear to stay? It’s an agony of indecision, then firm resolve which later melts again into a jelly of fear.
Hypnotherapy in Reading, Oxford, London, Thame or Wallingford could help you to begin to clarify your thoughts and feelings on the matter. It could help give you that little bit of distance from which to better be able to decide upon your future.
Affair recovery seems to be a growing problem, judging by the number of clients I am presently helping with the problems described above. If you’d like some help then please do get in touch. Hypnotherapy, hen combined with psychotherapy and a person experienced and trained in counselling, could be the solution you so desperately need.
Where to begin in even thinking about it?
The good news is that I do know where to begin and it usually lies outside of thinking. I use hypnotherapy, counseling, mindfulness and other approaches in order to help people to come to terms with what they’re feeling. Wherever you are in this affair triad, the feelings are there, they’re very real and they need to be heard, listened to and processed properly. Trying to be all stoic about it won’t work. Trying to be strong won’t work. Focusing on righteous fury won’t bring the best possible results from this tangle of deceit, broken hearts and fear.
Whether you’re the betrayer, the betrayed or the affair partner, I can help you to process feelings in a natural and helpful manner whilst assisting you in finding a way forward. Wherever you are, whatever you choose to do and however you feel, there is a way out. It may not be easy but I have worked with people on all sides of these scenarios and would be glad to help you too.
Guilt, anger, jealousy, rage, fear, terror, sadness and pain are only some of the emotions I have helped people to cope with after the end of an affair. I have helped people reconcile themselves with their spouses.
I have helped people manage their journey through the emotional maelstrom of divorce. I have helped people, where necessary, heal themselves in order that they can rebuild their lives in whichever way they choose.
If you live in or around London, Reading, Oxford, Wallingford or Thame and would like some help in navigating the end of an affair, please do get in touch. I’d be glad to explain how hypnotherapy and I might help you. Please don’t feel as if you need to continue working through these problems all on your own. I’m here, ready to help you as soon as you’re ready.
Best wishes
