Acclimatising to ageing can be difficult. Hypnotherapy could help you.
Oscar Wilde was right in many ways. Youth is beautiful and it’s completely wasted on the young. What wouldn’t we give to have a second chance at youth, so long as we could relive that era with the knowledge, experience and wisdom we’ve acquired since that time?
However, this isn’t to say that there isn’t a great deal of joy to be had towards the other end of life either. As we come to retire we quite commonly have a greater degree of financial security, self-esteem, time and confidence with which to focus on the things in life we enjoy. Children are grown up and have moved out. Grandchildren can be wonderful.
However, I do understand that things aren’t quite as rosy as this for everyone. I see lots of people in Reading, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame for whom growing old and retiring are challenging and sometimes insurmountably so. If you’re having a hard time with this stage of your life then I am here to help you. You are far from alone.
Please also be aware that the current lockdown also permits therapists to see clients face to face. Zoom sessions are also available.
The inevitable truth is that we’ll never get to find out. We’re all on a conveyor belt of time and just as we were once as the young are now, so they shall one day be as we are now, suffering the same thoughts and wishing things could be different. Such is the food or poets, artists and writers since time immemorial.
Some people cope with ageing perfectly easily
Some people manage this process with a poise and grace which can leave others feeling envious and amazed. Growing older really doesn’t have to be a dreadful experience. Since we cannot change what is inevitable we have only to change our approach. It’s this which I teach my clients.
Some people accept ageing with equanimity. Others find it more difficult. For, as we age we pass life’s milestones and there can come a time when we believe that the best of our life is behind us. Our careers are now over and, in some cases, the job itself has disappeared due to technological advances. We can allow ourselves to feel as if we’re yesterday’s people.
As we age we become less physically able and for some that can clash with their self image of being fit, resilient and strong. If we take a pride in our physical prowess then its ebbing into history can take a terrible toll on our self-esteem. Hobbies and passions become unrealistic. Younger people overtake us. We an begin to feel as if we’re has-beens and yesterday’s men / women.
Beauty, at least in its youthful form, begins to fade as grey hair predominates and skin loses its lustre and tautness. Those who used to turn heads when young can find this aspect of ageing the hardest of all. One female client told me how she dreaded slipping into the cohort of ‘the invisible’.
None of this is easy. Lord knows I’ve struggled with some of this myself. It’s a process of grief as we move between life’s stages. It needn’t, however, kill the pleasures of what still remains possible. There is still so much to do, to enjoy, to live for. In many ways the times of middle and old age are the envy of the young. I’ll be glad to help you find your way.
I’ve used hypnotherapy in Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame in order to help people acclimatise to the later stages of life. If you’re finding it hard to adjust then perhaps I could help you too.
You can learn to see it differently
Fear of old age is common and yet we’re lucky in that we’re one of the few generations who have ever been able to look forward to experiencing such a time with any degree of certainty.
We do have futures in old age and we can slip into new roles, new ways of living and new ways of being which offer as much joy and purpose as anything we’ve experienced to this point.
There is still fun to be had and you can learn to live so well that all thoughts of death and mortality simply fade and acquire their rightful perspectives. Even if you are suffering from the health conditions which ageing can bring, there is perhaps a new way of living with and despite of your ailments. I work with people every week who are having to adjust their way of living to arthritis, cancer and a whole host of other complaints.
If you’re finding it difficult to adapt to the changes which ageing brings then I’d be glad to help you. You can learn to face a new phase of your life with courage, drive and the sense that the best years of your life could still lie ahead.
Perhaps you can’t imagine that, yet. Perhaps you’re still mourning that which has passed. Perhaps you’re now looking forwards and dreading the end of life. If so, you risk ruining what could be a perfectly satisfactory and enjoyable present. I’ll be more than glad to help you to make changes to your way of thinking, feeling and thinking.
We can’t escape it without dying. We may as well enjoy it.
Nobody would volunteer to leapfrog a healthy youth into an infirm old age but since there is no way to avoid old age, save by failing to reach it, it is necessary for us to find a way in which we can face it with dignity, positivity and grace.
There is an art to growing old, according to Marie de Hennezel, and we can either find a way to benefit from ageing or condemn ourselves to having a miserable time of it.
As Epictetus wrote, humans are “disturbed not by events, but by their opinions about them.” Think, therefore, of old age as being an empty desert before the grave and so it will seem.
Think of it as death’s waiting room and so it will be.
If you have time to waste in fretting about ageing then you have time to make the most of it. Every moment is precious, not just now, for you, but for everybody – always. Hasn’t age taught you the value of time? Seize the day and make the most of it.
There are projects to be begun, there are skills to be learned, there are people to connect with and there is everything to live for. The best thing of all is that you now have the time. Work with me and let’s build a whole new sense of purpose,a whole new zest for life, one step at a time.
Others have come to see me before you thought of it. Others have learned to let go of fear, regret and mourning for times now gone. They learned to enjoy today and to let tomorrow take care of itself. You could too!
Call me on 07786 123736 / 01183 280284 / 01865 600970 whenever you’re ready. Alternatively, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’ll be more than glad to hear from you.
You’ve no need to envy youth. Here’s why…
The young have it all waiting to happen. Their futures are open and we may like to imagine, as we look at them, that all kinds of happiness lie before them.
We gaze at youth, we envy its often directionless energy and we wish we were there once more. We imagine that things may be different. Yes, well, they may have been. They may have been worse.
Do you really want to go back to the insecurities of youth, fretting about the size of your breasts or penis, the next grade at school or whether your job will be cut in the next round of redundancies?
Do you really want the sleepless nights of young parenthood or the struggle to raise a family, pay the mortgage and maintain a fun lifestyle?
Do you really want spots again?
Hypnotherapy could help you.
Regain your zest for life!
Her most famous work: ‘La mort Intime’ teaches the beauty of life through the eyes of those who are soon to lose it. The lesson is simple. It is never too late to gain an appetite for life, no matter what fate throws in our path.
I’ve just finished reading her most recent book: “The Warmth of the Heart prevents your Body from Rusting.” It’s an instruction manual on how we might face the inevitability of ageing with grace, gratitude and vivacity.
In any case, since we have no choice but to face old age (there’s only one alternative…) we might as well learn to make the most of the time which is allotted to us. I’ve seen clients in their 70s and 90s, You are never too old to change.
Change begins with simply picking up the ‘phone and making that call.
I’m here for you, whenever you’re ready.
Fear of ageing is more often a fear of death itself
We are, in the end, where we are and life is far too short to waste in regretting a lost youth. Old age will come if we’re lucky and the fear of it is more often a fear of our own mortality.
Yes, we’re going to die and if this is the inescapable truth then we have the responsibility to live as fully as possible in order that those we love can benefit from the best of our own selves.
It’s hard, it’s grim, but living the life we have left is the only option we have. We may as well learn to milk every drop of fulfillment from its ephemeral nature. If you need some help with this then get in touch. Once you learn to live life fully, the fear of death acquires its own perspective. Perhaps I could help you, if you’d like to live life to the fullest extent of its potential.
Nonethleless, even Marie de Hennezel, an optimist when discussing the prospect of her old own age, admits to having faced a crisis and a mini-depression upon reaching her 60th birthday.
Facing old age requires a re-assessment of life and our place within the universe. If you do find it difficult to adjust, and you would be far from alone, please do consider contacting me, here, in order to discuss how hypnotherapy in Reading, Wallingford, Thame, Oxford or London could help you. Too many people waste their old age in living their deaths. Why not choose to live, for the rest of your life, instead?