Learn to silence that voice which condemns, criticises and damages your self-esteem
How do you talk to yourself? What is the tone of the voice inside your head? Everybody has an inner dialogue which criticises or praises their actions and thoughts. How does yours sound? Kind? Critical? Brutal? Does it damage your self-confidence and self-esteem? If so, hypnotherapy could help you.
I’ve used hypnotherapy in Reading, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame to silence a hundred inner voices which cause damage to self-esteem. I could help still yours too.
If you’re here reading this then it’s quite likely that you have what we, in the trade, call an ‘inner critic’. It’s that little voice which tells us we’re ‘rubbish’, ‘pathetic’, ‘weak’ or a million other and worse things. Sometimes we curse ourselves in our heads and we can hear the mental thoughts forming themselves. Sometimes we allow this thought or voice to flick in and out in an instant, barely heard.
Either way, the effect of this voice is to consolidate and deepen that sense of not being good enough. It keeps us down, in our place, in our spiral of negative self-belief.
Perhaps it’s time you stopped just accepting the judgement of this inner critic
If you know you’d lose friends by voicing similar judgements about their mistakes or shortcomings, why put up with it yourself? You will always be your own harshest judge. The least you can do is learn to be fair.
You could learn to be fair with yourself. You could learn to be kinder. You could, at the very least, learn to balance the inner critic with an awareness of your own strengths, qualities and positive attributes.
The following technique will be a little bit of an effort at first. The mirror part of it may seem difficult, unnatural and unpleasant. Stick with it, however, the gains will begin to build up and you’l be taking those first steps to controlling and weakening that inner critic.
How you could go about stilling that unkind part of yourself.
I work from the supposition that we have different parts of our mind which usually work well together but which sometimes engage in conflict. If you’ve ever seen the film ‘Inside Out’ you’ll know the concept of how parts of our mind can hold different ideas at the same time. ‘I want that cake – I don’t need that cake- but I really want it’ is a simple example of how this might work in some minds.
I work from the supposition that all of these parts of our minds have our best interests at heart. That inner critic, for example, may seem to be a terribly harsh and horrible thing but perhaps it’s simply trying to keep you safe. Perhaps by reminding you of your limitations, even if to a damaging and false extent. it thinks it’s helping you to avoid hurt and failure.
You can re-educate this voice of yours. You can weaken its automatic power over your actions.
First of all, every day you’re to look at yourself in the mirror, just before you go to bed. I want you to tell yourself the three best things you’ve done that day and what they say about you as a person.
For example: ‘today I helped a woman carry her pram down some steps. This shows that I am a kind and considerate person.’ Do that three times every day. If it helps, write it down.
This will help you to focus your attention on the good, kind and clever things you do. It will help you to refocus on the positive.
Next, I want you to picture your inner critic as a cartoon character. It doesn’t matter what you pick but it does have to be a little bit cute, just like in the example above. Give this character a personality and a name too.
When you next notice that inner critic speaking you’re to tell it to calm down and you’re to remind it of some piece of evidence (one of the three best things in recent days) which disproves its words.
By doing this you prove it wrong, by doing this you make the inner critic conscious and correct it. By doing this the inner critic will eventually whither away. Try it and let me know how you get on.
If you need any extra help then please consider calling me. Hypnotherapy can put this technique into very effective use.
I have great faith in and respect for my clients. It saddens me to hear how they beat themselves up with unjustly negative self-critiques. I’d like to help you treat yourself with kindness and respect. If you live in or around Reading, Oxford, Wallingford or Thame and would like some help then please feel free to call me on 01183 280284 / 01865 600970 / 07786 123736 to learn how we can work together to achieve this goal. Alternatively, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Any which way I’ll be more than glad to talk with you.