Empty Nest Syndrome is a difficult time for women – no matter when it begins.
It’s that time of year when thousands of mothers will be sending their four and five year old children to school for the very first time. Tears will be shed on both sides. It’s the end of a life-stage and the beginning of a separation which neither mother nor child have had to experience before. At the time of updating this page it’s also a time when the ravages of covid 19 are leaving many families more anxious about sending their children into the school environment. Many of the children themselves are also feeling nervous about going back to school. This can feed into mum’s anxiety and begin to create a vicious circle.
Feeling upset at this point in your child’s life and feeling worried about covid 19 is somewhat normal. My own wife cried some very big salty tears when our two daughters disappeared from her sight for the first time in five years. My own children have found heading back to school to be a challenging time.
However, for some mothers this can be more than a passing sadness. Some mothers become so dependent on their children, as a source of identity, that they can take a very long time to adjust.
Mothers love their children, of course, and yet some risk losing their whole identity to their new role and, when that role changes and children skip off to school, the crisis of identity can prove to be a real shock.
It’s an early form of the famous ’empty nest syndrome.’ It’s a form of grief as the realisation hits home that your babies aren’t babies anymore. With every passing day they develop new skills, new abilities and become just that little more independent.
It can be a source of sadness and can feel like a real loss. It doesn’t have to be this way. This can be a wonderful time for both you and for your children. This is your opportunity to see your child begin to flourish socially and academically. They are entering a whole new phase of growth and it will be a wonderful thing to witness. It’s also a time in which you can begin to get back to being you, a person and not just a provider of meals and entertainment.
Hypnotherapy could help you regain your sense of poise
If this describes you and you’d like some help in rediscovering your own sense of identity, adjusting your sense of 
purpose, recalibrating your life then please do consider giving me a call. People go through difficult periods for any number of reasons and sometimes the fact that children are now at school brings home the realisation that life before them – and now without them – wasn’t particularly great.
Women thrown back into their own company can find themselves confronted by issues of self esteem and confidence which they’d been too busy to feel for some time.
Mothers going back into the workplace can lack confidence and feel as if they’ve lost the happiest time of their lives.
There’s a stereotype which says that a great many women feel pleased to see the children back to school. In fact a recent survey showed that 88% of women felt sadness at the fact. That’s fine but when that sadness is profound or doesn’t shift, it may be time to think of finding help. It doesn’t have to be such a trauma and you don’t have to lose yourself in your role as a mother.
Being a mother can be a truly fantastic experience but there are so many other sides to you. Mother, daughter, sibling, partner, friend, employee, boss and lover. You;re all of these things and hypnotherapy could help you to rebalance your sense of self in order to ensure that you not only adjust to this new phase of your life but positively thrive.
I have helped lots of women to rebuild their lives after a dramatic change such as this. I’d be glad to help you too.
I could also help your child. Since first writing this page I have begun, and have almost finished, a masters degree in child and adolescent psychotherapy. Today I shall be meeting a ten year old boy who is terrified at the thought of going back to school next week. Lots of my child and adolescent clients are feeling nervous right now. Perhaps I could help your children to cope with these troublesome times too. You can read a lot more of how I work with younger children by visiting my website on the topic here.
If you’d like some help with this then you can call me on 07786123736 / 01183280284 / 01865600970. You could also email me at paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk or use the contact form at the very bottom of this page.
Best wishes
Paul