Hypnotherapy could help you when a marriage ends in divorce
Clients tend to come in waves, for some reason or other. At one time I might be hearing from a series of people wanting help with weight issues. Another week will see me busy with clients suffering from IBS and so on. The past couple of months have seen a number of clients approach me for help with the emotional fall-out from the tragedy of divorce.
In Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame, people are seeking my help for the grief and trauma which can accompany the end of their relationships.
Heartbreak is a universal experience
It can bring the wracking pains of grief and despair, dreadful feelings of guilt, the regret of lost opportunities, of failure and shame.
It can completely upend a person’s sense of security. Homes can be lost and new ones have to be found. Financial settlements leave neither party feeling as wealthy or secure as before. Nothing feels certain or permanent. Everything is up in the air.
Children have to be talked to and their grief can take many forms. The departing spouse can find that one or more children refuse to speak to him or her for a period of time, perhaps forever. Perhaps it’s the one who remains behind who finds herself shouldering the blame.
The departing spouse will also consider that his ex won’t be single forever. His decision to leave, if on an impulse, could be regretted too late when the new man moves in and becomes ‘step dad’.
There are so many potential sources of pain in such scenarios.
Still, at least you’ll have your friends, yes?
Friends and relatives inevitably take sides. Your glorious relationship with the in-laws can be lost entirely as they fold their wings protectively around their child. People you thought of as being your best friends can inexplicably move into the ex’s camp. This will be particularly true for those people who leave as a consequence of an affair. Your friends can become terrible judges.
Your social group can be rent in two or simply lost altogether. Even those friends who stick with you can become judgemental and less than entirely forgiving.
None of it is easy.
I’m truly sorry if you’re going through it.
You are going through the process of grieving the end of a relationship
The sense of loss which accompanies divorce and break-ups is a form of grief. All those hopes and dreams are history and the happiness which the relationship once brought is now gone.
Even if you initiated the divorce, even if your relationship caused you misery, you can still suffer the consequences of realising that it’s now over, that forever and a day was just a period of time and is now gone, for good.
Ending a long term relationship is rarely simple
Financial ties and children complicate things still further. Lives remain intertwined in a long term relationship which can be exceptionally hard to manage. A part of our identity is formed through being a part of a couple. Fathers can be left in emotional agony from being separated from the daily lives of their children.
You’re not just leaving a relationship, you’re leaving a certain version of your own self behind you.
There remain longings on the part of the rejected partner and regrets as to what would, could and “should” have been done fill the mind, causing the sufferer to spend his or her time in bitter rumination and self-recrimination. It’s a tangled mess and finding a way out can seem impossible.
What of the practical implications. It can be hard for the mum (it generally is the mum) who now has to send her children to the dad’s new place every other weekend. It’s difficult to negotiate and then to have to rely on an absent father’s financial payments. Resentments continue to build and arguments can be frequent.
Even if you weren’t emotionally involved, these would be difficult relationships to negotiate.
I apologise, in one sense, for laying it all on so thick. If you’re in the middle of a divorce or separation then you know this all already or are finding it all out with every week which passes. However, there will be many people reading this who are contemplating ending their relationship. It’s important that such people realise what might be in store for them should they go ahead with it.
Grief at the end of a relationship can lead to all sorts of problems
It’s hardly surprising, therefore, to hear that my stressed clients are suffering from insomnia, depression, anxiety, a lack of appetite, increased vulnerability to illnesses, IBS and a host of other complaints.
Hypnotherapy can help, of course. Helping clients to relax, to accept their grief and to rediscover their strengths and abilities can do a great deal to restore hope.
Adopting a mindful approach to the consequences of a break-up can help people to put events in their true perspective. The end of a cherished relationship is a terrible thing but it’s not the end.
Hypnotherapy could help you to summon your inner resources in order to rebuild, start afresh and thrive.
You can rebuild and re-emerge stronger and happier! I’ve worked with plenty of divorced or divorcing couples. I’ve worked with lots of those who weren’t married but who found the end of a long-term relation every bit as devastating. I’ve enjoyed seeing them piece their lives back together and come to the appreciation that there is life beyond the decree nisi.
I’m here to help you through
Hypnotherapy, in the hands of a caring and skilled hypnotherapist can help people through the difficult time and bring them to the point where they can once again see their way ahead.
If you’d like some help in coming to terms with the end of a relationship then please do get in touch. I’d be more than glad to speak with you. You could call me on 07786 123736 / 01865 600970/ 01183 280284, email me at email@example.com or use the contact form on the “contact me” page.
Hypnotherapy in Oxfordshire. Hypnotherapy in Berkshire
Resolved! Hypnotherapy operates in Reading, Wallingford and Oxford, also seeing clients from Didcot, Cholsey, Moulsford, Abingdon, Henley, Benson, Nettlebed, Crowmarsh Gifford and other areas of Oxfordshire and Berkshire. Hypnotherapy, in the hands of a skilled and ethical hypnotherapist, can help you to make big and lasting changes to your life.