Make yourself comfortable for a story!
I told this story to a client in Reading, yesterday. It sunk in and made a difference.
A frog was sitting on a riverbank watching the waters rise. It was raining heavily and all the creatures were scurrying for shelter, for safety away from the imminent flood.
A scorpion came and sat beside the frog.
“I’m too slow. I’ll never escape in time to avoid the flood” he said. “Please, would you carry me to safety?”
“If I let you hop onto my back you’d sting me. I’m afraid I can’t do it.”
The scorpion thought about it for a while and replied “Well, I do sting creatures but think about it. If I stung you we’d both die and that wouldn’t do me any good. Would it? Please take me somewhere safe. “
The frog decided that this was sound logic and so allowed the scorpion to climb on his back before beginning to swim to higher ground.
After a short while the scorpion pointed ahead and said “over there, that looks safe. Swim there little frog.”
The frog set course for where the scorpion had pointed. They were almost there when the frog suddenly felt a terrible pain in his back. The scorpion had stung him and he was sinking, paralysed by the venom which rushed through his veins like fire.
“We’re both going to die” he gasped, “why? Why did you sting me?”
The scorpion, struggling for breath as the water closed over his head, replied “it’s just in my nature.”
My clients are all individuals
I see the vast majority of my clients as individuals and yet I’m very aware that these people don’t live as individuals. They’re parents, children, siblings, colleagues, bosses and employees all in one. They are forced to relate to others around them and a great deal of our self-esteem comes from how successful we consider ourselves to be at relating.
A good many of my present clients are preoccupied by a parent or a partner who seems unable to accept them as they are, who seems to be holding them back as they progress towards their goals. My clients try to bring these people to change their behaviours, to change their outlook and to change the way they see the world.
Too often this is a fool’s errand. People don’t change unless they want to change and basing your own happiness upon the behaviour of another person is dangerous if that person’s behaviour is unhelpful or damaging to self-esteem and happiness.
In these cases my work with the client is based around acceptance of that person’s nature whilst working to build self-esteem, self-acceptance and confidence independently of that person and even, if necessary, in defiance of that person’s hurtful behaviours.
If you find that you have a habit of being attracted to men or women who end up mistreating you in the same old way, time and time again, then hypnotherapy could help you to resolve whatever it is which draws you to them and keeps you there. It’s time to stop desperately hoping that they will change. It’s time to stop wishing that you could be good enough for such people. The only thing they all have in common, besides their behaviours, is you. Reject their behaviours, reject them and embrace your own self. You could learn to let go of that old destructive pattern of attachment to others.
You could learn to trust your instincts more fully, to spot such people sooner, to stop fooling yourself into thinking that this time will be different, to build the confidence and self-acceptance which will help you to find somebody who is worth your love. Hypnotherapy, delivered by a fully-qualified psychotherapist, could help you.
Hypnotherapy could help you to achieve this goal
Hypnotherapy is great for helping people to achieve such a goal. Hypnotherapy can help you to imagine the desired future, unlock half-forgotten strengths and shed any self-sabotaging mental habits which stand in the way. Hypnotherapy can help people to let go of the past, live in the present and work – step by step – towards the desired future. If you’d like any help in achieving such things for yourself then please do get in touch. I have rooms in Oxford, Reading, Thame and Wallingford and can do home visits if necessary and possible.