Christmas is the season of giving, but lose your own self and depression will surely follow.
As I write this, in 2026, we’re just beginning to see the first signs of Spring. Soon enough, however, there will be millions of mothers, across the country, choosing gifts, buying gifts, wrapping gifts and preparing for the nation’s favourite ‘holiday’.
There’s the visits to relatives to plan, the visitors, the office parties, the school Christmas plays, the decorations, the balancing of journeys, packing of suitcases, washing up, drying up and so much more. It’s the season of rushing around, selfless self-sacrifice and putting everybody else first.
It doesn’t sound like much of a holiday, does it?
So many of my poor clients just can’t wait for it all to be over.
Motherhood, marriage, a job. They’re all demanding commitments and they all take something from us.
Every week I see mothers, wives and workers (generally rolled into one person) in Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame.
They’re all people for whom everything has become too much. Every week I use hypnotherapy to help these women to recover a sense of their own selves and to put themselves first, once again. The picture tells you the truth. You can’t pour from an empty cup and too many people keep trying to do just that.
At the time of updating this post in 2026 we’re in the midst of the war with Iran. The cost of living crisis has been reignited, if it ever went away, and we’re all having to cut back. Mothers, of course, cut back on their own needs first. When will it ever end?
As Christmas 2026 approaches you’ll be facing all the usual pressures which any Christmas brings, along with the rubbish which an endless cost of living crisis has placed upon you. Not only this, but you’ll be caring for everybody else and placing your own stresses, anxieties and desires at the back of the queue.
If you don’t stop it then your mind and body will force you!
I use hypnotherapy every week in order to help women to realise that they can’t just keep on giving. At some point they have to put themselves first. For my clients, of course, they’ve already pushed themselves too far.
They’ve already found that giving and giving and giving only leads to depression, anxiety, resentment, bitterness and a whole unhealthy host of possible coping mechanisms.
You can’t put yourself last forever and expect to get away with it. Sometimes you have to be selfish in order to continue being able to give. It sounds a contradiction but it isn’t. Its essential.
Do you find yourself drinking too much? Have you gone back to smoking? Comfort eating? Are you finding that each day seems an increasingly heavy burden? Do you sometimes just wish that you could retreat under the duvet and leave the whole world to sort itself out?
If so then you’re in danger of becoming yet another victim of people-pleasing perfectionism. It’s time for you to give yourself a break, to let go of those crucifyingly onerous expectations and to rediscover your own self.
If you don’t then anxiety, depression and a whole Santa’s sackful of other problems are heading your way!
Yes, it’s difficult! Why can’t you just cope?!
All the Christmas adverts bombard us with images of perfect meals, ecstatically happy children and perfectly functioning couples. Families gather warmly around a perfectly roasted turkey and everything is just going swimmingly. Well done Mum.
Mum hasn’t just managed to craft and prepare the perfect meal, she’s also perfectly turned out with freshly spruced-up hair, professionally applied make up and those bags under her eyes have been airbrushed away by the magic of television.
The presents weren’t wrapped by ‘Mum’. They weren’t bought by ‘Mum’. They weren’t chosen by ‘Mum’ either. It’s all an ideal, an illusion. It’s all a tyranny of expectations.
Why can’t you be like that? Perhaps you’re just not trying hard enough? Work harder and it will all come good, won’t it?!
Running yourself into the ground won’t do you any favours. If you don’t learn to look after yourself then one day you’ll be of no use to yourself, nor to anybody else either.
There’s no medal for being Wonder-Woman!
I’m afraid it’s highly likely that nobody will even notice. People get used to getting, to receiving and are generally too wrapped up in their own lives to notice that you’re running yourself ragged.
If the demands of Christmas, on top of all the usual responsibilities, are driving you to the edge and beyond, it’s going to be up to you to row back and rethink. Only you can make those changes happen.
These habits of putting everybody else above your own basic needs can creep up on you. Sometimes they’re a product of our past. Some people spend a lifetime trying to emulate a perfect mother. Some people learned to please, please, please in order to placate a difficult parent.
This doesn’t mean that you have to become selfish, uncaring, a bad mother, employee or wife. It simply entails rebuilding your own sense of self, your own identity. It means rediscovering YOU!
Your family and employer needs YOU, not some exhausted, wreck of a human being. If this means saying ‘NO!’ a little more often, if it means asking for help a little more willingly, if it means letting go of the past then you can do it! Hypnotherapy could help you!
Every week I use hypnotherapy in Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford and Thame in order to help women to rediscover themselves, to rebalance their lives and to be happier, healthier and more fulfilled individuals.
You’ll love it and your family will thank you for simply allowing yourself to be you!
Let’s make 2027 a better year. Give me a call and we can get started!
Oh, and I wish you a Merry Christmas!