No! No! No! If you’re tired of Pathological Demand Avoidance then perhaps hypnotherapy could be the answer
I must confess to knowing nothing of pathological demand avoidance until eight years ago. A mother in Reading called me when at her wits’ end. She had tried everything and her son had been to several counsellors and educational psychologists with no success at all.
She had no idea what to do and she had happened across my website when doing some research on autism. She realised that PDA was often considered to be a subset of the autistic spectrum and found me whilst researching asperger’s syndrome.
Click here to look at my page on how I work with asperger’s
I didn’t feel qualified to work with pathological demand avoidance at the time but the mother had nowhere else to go and so I agreed to give it my best.
I was happy to find that the child was motivated to change and so we worked together, feeling our way, until the mother, very pleased with her son’s progress, agreed that he was ready to continue by himself.
Since that time I’ve worked with several such young people and am glad to report that hypnotherapy, when allied with other approaches such as psychotherapy and mindful approaches to behavioural change / emotional regulation works well, where the child is motivated and wanting to make changes.
I also now have the added advantage that I have trained to become a child and adolescent counsellor, which gives me many more approaches when working with younger children. You can therefore be sure that your child is in good hands when working with me. Furthermore, as a one-time secondary school teacher with 20 years experience I have a good understanding of adolescents.
So if your child would like to change his or her quality of life, give me a call. I’d be glad to speak to you both.
You could call me on 07786123736 / 01183280284 / 01865600970. You could email me at paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk or simply use the contact form in the footer of this page.
Pathological Demand Avoidance is a difficult condition to live and work with
PDA is different to asperger’s in that children with the condition often seem more socially fluent and comfortable. To strangers and friends they can seem to be the most charming of individuals. It’s at home and at school that the problem becomes apparent. Sometimes it’s only in one of those places. It does, in my experience, most often happen in that place in which the child feels his or herself to be safest.
So, if you’re facing the brunt of it at home then you might draw some comfort that your home and family are seen as being the safe place. I hope that helps.
Children on the PDA facet of the autistic spectrum find the demands of society difficult to cope with. ‘NO!’ is always the default answer.
Children with PDA seem more socially savvy and manipulative than those with asperger’s could ever hope to become whilst being far less compliant with authority and social expectations. Parents of such children often describe them as being ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ characters. They can be charming, highly intelligent and very loving when they are not lost in the negative side of their behaviours.
These darker sides of their selves can be incredibly difficult to live with.
Impulsivity and mood swings are heightened. Children with PDA can be violent and even dangerous with peers. siblings and parents. Their behaviour can put themselves in dangerous situations and canplace intolerable strains upon marriages and family life. The anger, unpredictability and anxiety of the PDA child is a terrifying and mystifying combination. Can anything help?
Hypnotherapy and similar approaches can help people with pathological demand avoidance
PDA is a system of behaviours designed (unconsciously) to remedy anxiety through establishing control over the environment. Manipulation, aggression and other means of control are employed not through a feeling of strength, but through a fear of weakness. The behaviours you suffer as a parent or relative are a sign of your child’s anxiety and stress.
Hypnotherapy is a fantastic means of learning relaxation techniques. It’s a wonderful way of learning how to come to terms with one’s own self, building confidence, self-esteem and of learning new ways to relate to the world around you.
I work with my clients to teach them new ways of seeing themselves in relation to family, teachers and other authority figures. When they learn to become more confident in their own selves their behaviours change and things begin to improve. Life becomes a virtuous circle of better behaviour leading to better reactions from others leading to better self-esteem and thus better behaviour. The cycle continues.
If your child recognises that their behaviours can slip out of control and if they are willing to engage with somebody like me then there is every hope that they can learn to moderate their behaviours.
It can be a long haul and it’s not an easy task. It can, however, be done.
I’ll be glad to help.
Contact me and find out how I could help your child
I have lots of experience of working with children of ten years and upwards. If your child is ready to admit that there is a problem then I am able to help them to make changes to their thoughts, feelings and behaviours.
There may be setbacks. There may be difficulties along the way but if your child and your family are prepared to make changes then they can and will happen.
Please feel free to contact me here and we’ll discuss how, when and where I could help you to restore peace and harmony to your family. You could call me on 07786 123736 / 01865 600970 / 01183 280284, email me at paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk or use the contact form below.
Best wishes
