‘The path of your life’s story was written in its first chapter’ Discuss.
Some clients come to see me with no idea of how they ended up depressed, anxious or suffering from a condition such as OCD or panic attacks. Only when we piece together their lives does it become plain to them. Sometimes I’m amazed at how they can’t make that link themselves. ‘A childhood like that and you can’t understand why you might be prone to depression?’
At other times other clients come to me full to bursting with anger, tears and rage at the way they were treated as children. They know exactly what happened to them and they’re fully aware of how it affected them. Clients come to me for hypnotherapy in Reading, Thame, London (Holborn), Oxford and Wallingford so that I can help rid them of the burdens they have had to carry since their infancy.
What kind of goal would you like to achieve?
They’re keen to know and yet they’re absolutely astounded when they find out.
‘Can my childhood really have had such a great impact upon me? ‘
‘I should be over that by now!’
‘But other people had it worse than I did.’
The founder of the Jesuits, Ignatius Loyola, said, ‘give me the boy until seven and I’ll give you the man’. He knew the truth, that our earliest years are vitally important to the way we approach life as an adult.
Psychologists today will often express the view that it doesn’t take as long as seven years. Five years is a common time by which academics believe that we have fully formed our view of ourselves and of the world around us.
Those views may develop as we continue to mature but the fundamental beliefs of whether we are good enough as people, or whether the world is a safe enough place, are fixed in place.
At least until therapy begins to help them to change.
‘Really? But that all happened so long ago. It surely can’t be that important anymore!’
I’m presently re-reading Albert Camus’ “The Myth of Sisyphus” and I’d quite forgotten how truly beautiful the book is. Only the French, I suspect, could take such a melancholy topic and dress it up in such wonderful prose. Every sentence is poetry.
Anyway, enough of that. What motivated me to write, today, is a quote I found on page ten:
‘…the last pages of a book are already contained in the first pages.’
If you’ve ever read Thomas Hardy’s “Return of the Native” then you’ll perhaps understand how this quote is true.
The power of the heath over its inhabitants is painted in the book’s first paragraphs and runs throughout the whole novel. I studied this book for A’ Level and have loved it ever since.
We can usually tell the ending of a film from its first scenes. Perhaps the stories of our own lives are mapped out in the first years too.
Perhaps it’s time to refuse to allow this to be true of you any longer.
Perhaps it’s time to get out of your furrow and to take your story in a different direction.
This whole website exists in order to help you to decide whether or not I may be the right person to help you to make necessary changes, so that the course of your life doesn’t have to follow in the same lines as it began.
How far does your childhood define you?
After reading Camus’ line I came to wonder how far this is true of us, as human beings. Are we defined by what we experienced as children? Do our past experiences decide who we are until we reach our very last pages?
As a therapist I’m well aware of how powerful our earliest experiences can be. When I finish this post I’ll be leaving to see a few clients whose childhoods have exerted extremely powerful effects upon the rest of their lives.
Yes, if you were bullied or abused as a child then this may well explain why you shy away from socialising or forming close relationships.
Yes, if someone close to you died when you were young then this may well explain your health anxiety.
Yes, if your parents divorced and your father faded away into obscurity then this may explain why you sabotage relationships to this day.
My clients’ pasts have had an enormous impact upon their difficulties and their pasts have governed the course of the rest of their lives.
Upon the rest of their lives until this point and no further…
Before I trained as a hypnotherapist I wrote childrens’ poetry. I had poems published in several excellent anthologies and can remember how difficult it was to write them. I’d agonise for hours over a single line. Sometimes I’d scrap whole poems and begin again. I’d tweak, twist and re-write until I was happy. Every author does the same.
Perhaps you’d like to change the plot of your story. Perhaps you need to change its direction, kill off (metaphorically, of course) some of the characters and flesh out the strengths and beauty of the main character. YOU!
Can you be the person who writes your own life story?
Who is the author of your life? Who is responsible for how the story for your time upon this earth turns out? It’s not always easy for people to hear the answer but there’s only one person responsible for your future and that’s you.
Furthermore, if you don’t like the way your in which your life up to this point has been written then you have the power to change it.
Your parents shouldn’t be allowed to do it for you. Your friends shouldn’t. Teachers, peers and other significant people can be allowed to influence us but you can choose to do your own thing. You can choose to take control.
Yes, your past may explain how you reached this point in your life. It doesn’t have to be left with its hand on the wheel. Seize power, take control and plot your own course.
Hypnotherapy could help you.
Yes, you have the power to change it. Write your own ending. Hypnotherapy could help you.
What is history? Is it what happened? No, history is what we believe or perceive to have happened. History is an interpretation of the past. Nothing more.
Terrible, ugly things happen to some people. The point of this post is not to diminish the horrors which some people experience. It is, rather, to state that people have the power to go back and re-evaluate the consequences of those events. You can reframe what happened so as to appreciate the power of your own resilience. You can re-evaluate yourself and the role you perceive yourself to have played.
Whatever happened, you’re still here and, whatever happened, you are strong.
People have powers and strengths which they’ve barely begun to tap into and some of these abilities will have been forged and sharpened in the flames of those events which they suffered as children.
What’s true of books doesn’t have to be true of people. You can change and you get to decide how.
Hypnotherapy can help people to look back at their pasts and decide that they are not defined by that which they had to endure as children. Hypnotherapy can help people to appreciate that they did endure, that they flourished and that they can deny those events the right to determine their futures.
You’re in control and if you live in or near Reading, Wallingford, Thame, London or Oxford then I would be more than happy to help you seize the reins of your own journey through life.
You can do it and if you don’t know how, yet, give me a call on 01865 600970, 01183 280284 or 07786 123736 and we can begin to discuss how hypnotherapy can help you to do so. You could always email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you’d prefer.
I look forward to hearing from you and to getting down to work. I’ll help you to pick up the pen. You can then write the rest of your story.