Being selfless could cost your loved ones dearly
Selflessness is a virtue, or so we are told. The truth is that selflessness can be a wonderful thing. However, when it becomes such a habit that we forget ourselves completely, it becomes pretty much a sin. Nobody ever said that you should habitually put yourself last to the extent that your own needs are never met.
Do you recall when you were last on a plane and the Stewardess ran through the safety information.
Well, I doubt you do because nobody really pays any attention to such things. Everybody is too busy reading the magazines, putting in their earphones or talking.
Well, perhaps they ought to pay more attention, because there is a gem hidden within all those hand signals and routines. Within that dull litany of instructions lies a lesson for us all – and particularly for mothers.
Sometimes it’s best for all if you put yourself first. Selfishness can sometimes be the best thing for all concerned
If the oxygen masks come down from the ceiling of the plane then the rule is simple. Mothers put THEIR mask on first and then attend to the children. It goes against every instinct but it’s the only way in which your children are going to survive in the event of an emergency.
Why? Well, if you fall unconscious due to a lack of oxygen, who is going to help the children. What may seem to be a selfish act is actually essential to everybody’s survival. Nobody survives unless mother puts herself first.
You need to take care of yourself in order that you can continue to take care of others. There’s no use in driving yourself into ill-health and depression. Who will take care of your children when you can’t?
If that doesn’t convince you then consider this: your children are looking to you as a role model of what it is to be a woman (or man, but it’s mostly women to whom this post is directed). If you want your son growing up and treating women like skivvies then act like one yourself. It’s what he will come to expect from women. If you want your daughter to grow up to act like a drudge then model that behaviour.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be fit to take care of others for long
Imagine the following scenario. Such people arrive often. I meet a lovely new client. She puts her family and her husband first. Her own feelings? Well, they don’t matter so much and so she ignores them and stores them up. They can wait. She’s less important. The kids are always first priority.
The result? Well, I won’t go into details but it could be panic attacks, alcoholism, depression, comfort eating or any one of a number of different problems. You see, anxiety, stress, depression and the like won’t wait until you think it’s time to deal with them.
Let’s cut out the depression and simply imagine that the mother is stressed trying to juggle everybody else’s needs and demands. That alone, given time and sufficient self-neglect, could lead to psychological problems such as burn-out and an eventual breakdown.
Put yourself first before you become of no use to anybody!
The result? Well, it’s an unhappy mother who won’t be able to attend quite as well to her family’s needs as she otherwise would have done – if only she’d learned to put herself first – at least sometimes, a little, enough.
The world is full of people-pleasers and there is also a constant supply of people who are all too keen to take what they can get. People-pleasers have an ever-increasing supply of demands placed upon them and a finite amount of time and energy. Disaster awaits if nothing changes.
I help people to become just that little bit more selfish, so that they can become that little bit more selfless in turn. I help people to enjoy their lives once more, so they can be a joy to others. I help people to let go of the need to be a people-pleaser, so they can be less of a martyr and more of a positive role model to their children. I could help you to feel freer, happier and content.
Would you like to be happier and free to be yourself, to please yourself, to live?
Hypnotherapy can help people to retrain their minds. Hypnotherapy can help people to leave behind unwanted consequences of beliefs which do harm. You are important because your family couldn’t manage without you. Your car is important too. So is your boiler. You have them serviced and maintained. You’re no different. Look after yourself and if that seems difficult, let me show you how.
If you’d like some help with this then please get in touch. You could call me on 07786123736 or email me via paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk.
Best wishes
