Ten top tips to make today a lovely day!

 

Don’t let today become yet another dreary day. Learn to take charge and make it lovely.

 

happy day hypnotherapyLife is short and yet some people seem to live as if it’s going to last forever. They allow days to pass by without making any real effort to enjoy them. Life is treated almost as a chore, a grey and dull routine. I’ve learned to feel differently about life. Every day is a precious commodity. Every hour and second is valuable and needs to be cherished. As they say, life isn’t a dress-rehearsal. Anything done once is not routine. 

Life is done once.

How do you want yours to be?

If you’re fed up of miserable and grim days then these tips could help you to make a difference to today. If you like to, begin tomorrow with a fresh new dawn. Whatever you do, refuse to settle for grim and aim, instead, for great! 

Even if ‘great’ proves too ambitious, the very act of approaching things differently will give it a lift from the grim routine of just living life by going through the motions. Begin to treat life as though it were a holiday and marvel at everything you can experience. Perhaps you’ve been to exotic places and have walked around enjoying that sense of awe at how beautiful it all seems to be.

I believe that we can and should do our best to live every day like this. Furthermore, I believe that it’s possible.

Top Tip #1: Get those pearly whites out

I don’t care if you feel like it or not. Smile! The brain can’t tell the difference between a real smile and a fake one. Smile with your eyes, while you’re at it, and your brain will release a dose of lovely endorphins, those feel-good chemicals which will reward your smile with an emotional lift and which will leave the next smile feeling easier and more genuine.

Another great thing about smiling is that people will tend to smile back at you. Mirror neurons in our brains lead us to mimic others. Put a smile on your face and others will almost be forced to smile in turn. Your interactions with others will be more positive and you’ll start to notice yourself feeling more in touch with the rest of society.

Not good enough? Well, try this: Abel and Kruger (2009) found that the more people smile the longer they live. Get practising now!

Stop being a grouch and give it a try. If need be, fake it ’til you make it!

Top Tip #2: Be kind to as many people as possible

random acts of kindness

Holding open a door for longer than you would usually bother, letting a car into the queue of traffic, helping a mother carry her pushchair down a flight of steps. these are all entirely cost-free ways of performing random acts of kindness.

Popping a quid into a charity box, buying a coffee for a homeless person, buying a loved one a small gift, these are all cheap ways of performing random acts of kindness.

Sonja Lyubomirsky, a researcher at the University of California, found that performing such small gestures helped people to feel better about themselves.

There’s nothing selfish about enjoying that feeling of pleasure at having done something nice for others. It’s the main reason we are primed to be kind in such ways. Evolution has created us as social creatures. Kindness is encouraged through the good feeling it rewards us with. Enjoy that feeling. It’s natural, it;s good and it’s free.

Furthermore, helping somebody through an act of kindness will prompt the recipient of your kindness to spread the love further afield. Commit a small act of random kindness and its effects could ripple across the globe!

Top Tip #3: ‘Phone a friend!

This study found that a lack of social connection is bad for your happiness, health and even has an impact upon longevity. The opposite, therefore, holds true. Get in touch with somebody you haven’t spoken to for a while. Even if you only have time for a ten minute chat, get in touch. Their pleasure at hearing your voice will give you a lift. 

Don’t be afraid if it has been a long time, an embarrassingly long time, since you last called them. Just get on with it and rekindle an old friendship. I can almost guarantee that you’ll feel better for it.

While you’re at it, make some more time for the other people in your life too. Life is short, friends and loved ones are precious. There’s always time a for a little more intimacy in our lives. If there isn’t, make some!

Top Tip #4: Keep away from The News

No news

My good friend and former trainer, Su Ricks Mcpherson, undertook some research which showed that people felt happier for avoiding the news.

I gave it a go, some years ago, and found that avoiding the sound of Gordon Brown’s voice did wonders for my mental health.

Try it yourself. Avoid newspapers. the radio, the internet, anything which could heap more of the world’s miseries upon your shoulders. 

It may be good to be informed but taking a day off, now and again, never hurt anybody either.

Five years of the brexit crisis and now covid 19 has left us all feeling frazzled. Why subject yourself to more hysteria? 

What good can it do to hear even more of how badly the global pandemic is going?

How does it help anyone to become enraged (from either point of view) regarding brexit?

Get out of the nightmare and turn off the news.

Besides, this resolution will help you with top tip #5.

Top Tip #5: avoid social media.

The University of Houston recently released research which showed a link between depression and the use of social media. When people are feeling depressed they will tend to compare themselves negatively to others around them.

Should they use Facebook or other social media they will only see the heavily edited highlights of everybody else’s lives. It’s easy to imagine that the rest of the world is happily partying, holidaying and enjoying themselves to bits.

The truth is different but few people choose to air their dirty laundry on social media. When they do they can still affect us if we suffer from vicarious stress – the tendency to be emotionally affected by the suffering of friends.

Give yourself a break. Stop looking at everybody else’s propaganda and get out there yourself, building that lovely day.

Top Tip #6: Make time for your favourite thing

depression hypnotherapy

I wonder how many times I have heard clients saying things such as “I used to love swimming / playing golf / going out for an Indian” and so forth.

“So, you still do that?”

“Oh no. Not any more.”

Aaargh! Why? Why not? You used to love it, it played a big part in your life and now you never do it anymore? Sure, if you’re severely depressed then that’s an excuse (for now) but you’re otherwise depriving yourself of a key lovely-day ingredient.

Your lovely day needs to include that favourite thing, even if you’ve not done it for ages. If funds are an issue then save a little or do the very next best thing.

You may one day be too old or too ill or too poor to do such things as you enjoy right now. 

Get on with it and enjoy the day. Do something fun. Do anything fun. You’ll feel good about it for the rest of the day.

Top tip #7: Do something different

You may have read my recent post on doing things differently. If you did then you’ll understand that doing the same things in different ways can bring surprising results. Your lovely day will need to be done differently. Eat something different for lunch, go somewhere different for lunch.

Drive a different way to work, roll over and get out of the other side of the bed. Wear something different, a bit more special. Put in that little extra piece of effort. Do all those mundane tasks in a different way, a different order. You may be surprised at the results.

Top Tip #8: Deal with those negative thoughts and feelings

negative thoughts hypnotherapy

This is one of my favourite tips of all time. Read more about it here.

We all have negative thoughts but for some people these thoughts become habitual and self-sabotaging monsters. Thoughts such as ‘I don’t deserve this’ would threaten to wreck your lovely day and so don’t let them.

There’s no way to unthink thoughts (don’t think of a blue cow. No, don’t picture one in your head. No blue cows!) and so you may as well relax around them. 

Picture your negative inner voice as a cute little monster. When s/he appears you can thank them for their efforts and picture yourself stroking them, cuddling them, being nice to them, telling them why you DO deserve this etc etc. The images will relax you and the thoughts will fade.

If that doesn’t work then book in to see me, or someone like me. Again, life is too short to spend all of it feeling anxious or depressed.

There are people out there, including yours truly, who could help you.

Don;t spend another minute unnecessarily suffering from sub-par mental health. DO something about it.

Top Tip #9: Be mindful

Being mindful is easier than some people think and easier than some people try and sell it. Sure, it may take some help to become mindful ALL of the time but you can dip in and out of it during your lovely day. 

Be mindful about your food. Really savour the texture, visual appearance, smell and taste. Notice how the taste develops as you eat it. Notice everything about every mouthful.

Notice how things smell, feel, taste, look. Notice the sun and air on your skin. Notice how your clothes feel, how other people walk, how the birds sing. Look above the line of shop windows and examine the upper stories and the architecture. Explore every second of your lovely day with every sense.

Did you ever notice how no two blades of grass are ever the exact same shade of green? No? Well, get noticing such things. Focusing your attention outwards will help you to leave worries and concerns behind you. If you do find yourself enjoying yourself then revel in how that feels in your body. Milk every second with every sense.

dreams hypnotherapy

Top Tip #10: Be kind to yourself

Nothing is perfect. Even your lovely day will fail to be completely flawless. Things will go wrong, there will be setbacks and niggles. Roll with them and forgive yourself for everything. this is your day and you need to indulge yourself a little.

You do deserve to have a lovely day and when it’s over you deserve to give yourself a pat on the back for making it happen.

You can then sit back with a smile on your face and establish what made your day so lovely, so that you can do a little more of the same tomorrow. Enjoy!

The rest of your life begins with a single day. Make the most of that day and begin making the most of your time and your self.

If you can do these things then you are sowing the seeds of a happier life, a life in which you can begin to make full use of your gifts, qualities and talents. If you can do this then you will leave this life content that you made the most of it.

It all begins with a single smile.

Paul Hughes, Hypnotherapist in Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford and Thame

hypnotherapy reading

I offer hypnotherapy in Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame. If you’d like to hear more of how I could help you to have lovelier days then please feel free to get in touch.

You could call me on 01183 280284 / 01865 600970 / 07786 123736 or 

020 7193 9331. Alternatively you could email me on paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes

Paul