Be self-assertive! Learn to say ‘NO!’ before your body does it for you.
It’s so easy to be a people pleaser. All you have to do is squash yourself into such a small space that your needs go unseen, unheard and unmet. For many people the art of saying ‘no’ is a difficult one. For many people the art of demanding things for yourself feels impossible. Saying ‘no’ and putting yourself first is the act of a bad person. We must be good and put everybody else first, all of the time, even if it kills us.
The problem is that it just might kill you. Failing that it might just lead you down into depression. At the very least you risk running out of time and realising that you never invested enough effort into your own life, dreams and ambitions.
Perhaps it’s time to redress the balance a little. Perhaps it’s time to say ‘no’ a little more often. Hypnotherapy could help you to be better at this. Hypnotherapy could make you stronger, happier whilst still leaving you a good person.
There’s a whole bunch of people who know this to be the case. I’ve used hypnotherapy for assertiveness in Oxford, Reading, London (Holborn), Wallingford and Thame in order to help people put themselves a little closer to the front of the queue. They did it and so could you.
What’ll happen if you refuse?
We’ve all seen it on a soap opera at some stage – the man collapsing of a heart attack as a result of stress. It’s one of those cliff-hanger classics.
We all, therefore, accept that stress can cause ill-health but none of us think that something quite so dramatic will happen to us.
Well, these things do happen. I have worked with enough clients to know that stress and anxiety can have dramatic and sudden consequences upon the body.
I have had clients who brought themselves to the point of collapse from various illnesses because they allowed stress to continue at too high a level for too long.
I have used hypnotherapy in Reading, Oxford, London, Wallingford and Thame to help people who simply thought they could carry on being stressed forever.
They learned, instead, to be self-assertive. They learned to stop putting themselves into the role of eternal victim. They learned to take back control.
People tend to neglect the needs of their bodies, as if they are something separate, an appendage, something to carry around with us. And if we should ever concede that we need to take action to stay healthy then we are likely to satisfy ourselves by watching our diets and joining a gym.
You can’t ignore stress forever. Here’s why!
Stress, however, is seen as something to be endured, ignored. The modern world will accept nothing less and we simply need to keep going, performing, progressing.
Putting yourself last will inevitably come to be a source of stress, resentment and worse. In time you’ll collapse under the strain because nobody can pour anything from an empty cup.
Give yourself a break. Rediscover that you have a self. You’re not just mum, wife, daughter, son. You’re a person and you have needs. Ignore those needs at your peril. Eventually you’ll be no good to yourself and no good to anybody else either.
Life is balance. If you’re out of sorts, rediscover your sense of balance.
Learn to say “NO!”
At some point we will have to learn to say “no.” Saying no to a boss or to those demands we place upon ourselves is daunting but we don’t only have heart attacks to fear.
Do you ever wonder why your healthy lifestyle doesn’t prevent you catching frequent colds, flu and the mystery bugs which lay us low for a week or more?
What about your relationships outside of work? Are you always the ‘yes’ person, the one to lean on when things get tough, the chef, the maid, the lover, taxi-driver, cleaner, mother and more?
Stress is trying to tell you something
How many women have I worked with who soldier on in these roles, never taking time to give any thought to their own selves? Well, that stress is trying to tell you something and you’d best listen up before all that cortisol and adrenaline forces you to do so.
Women, in particular, are prone to becoming people pleasers, putting others before themselves. There are times when this is a lovely trait, even a vital one. It can’t, however, be the default. You have needs too and if they’re unmet then everybody suffers in the end.
You ARE important! Your needs DO matter! Make the world sit up and notice
As a teacher most of my time was spent dealing with the rowdy and the self-confidently assertive. In the middle sat all the others who just quietly got on with life. They didn’t ask and the danger was that they wouldn’t get.
I had a duty to ensure that these students were well-served. Your boss doesn’t have this duty. Your colleagues don’t. Friends don’t either. If you’re happy to go through life asking for nothing and giving everything then there will be about 7 billion people who’ll let you.
Hypnotherapy could help you to be more assertive.
It’s time you began to think of yourself and acted accordingly.
If you don’t then your mental and physical health will suffer.
Don’t be one of those yummy mummies who takes to drink because the strain of being the perfect mother, wife and employee drags her under. You can’t economise on self care and not suffer the consequences. I’ve seen plenty of such mothers and they’re a sad sight. Such lovely people reduced to such depressed and anxious shadows of the people they once were.
Yes, I’ve helped them to get their true selves back in place but why allow it all to become so grim to begin with?
If you want something you’ll need to be self-assertive enough to stand up and demand it.
I use hypnotherapy in Reading, London, Oxford, Wallingford and Thame in order to help people demand their due from life. If you want to be self-assertive then you’ll need to learn how. Hypnotherapy could help you to be more confident, less anxious, more demanding and less of a doormat. It’s time to stand up and be heard!
If you’re not going to do it for yourself, do it for your children
If you want your children to model themselves on your example, to be all meek and compliant, to risk being walked over and forgotten, go ahead and ignore this post. Children look to parents in order to learn how to behave.
Don’t you want them to feel better about their lives than you do right now? Set them a better example! I could help you to rebalance your life in order that your children learn that nobody should let themselves be subsumed within a role.
Have a look at the image below. These are the effects of stress on the human body!
I’ve written before on the myth of mind / body dualism. A stressed mind will play havoc with the body and illness can be the body’s way of demanding a break.
Stress doesn’t just kill overweight executives in middle age, it weakens your ability to enjoy good health and serenity in the here and now. It prevents you from achieving your goals as efficiently, healthily and happily as you might.
Stress, by the way, is also a major culprit of the sudden arrival of erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. Perhaps that will give some of you male readers pause for thought.
Self esteem is a key ingredient of assertiveness and being willing to say “no!” Hypnotherapy could help you find it
Stress has an impact upon every area of our lives. If you can’t say “no” yet then you could learn. Hypnotherapy is great for learning how to be assertive.
You could learn to be more self-assertive, more demanding. You could learn to put yourself first and to stop being the person who’s always looking for ways to please everybody else.
Hypnotherapy, in the hands of a skilled and ethical hypnotherapist, can help you reduce the damage you suffer from stress.
Hypnotherapy can help you to rebalance your life in order to leave you better able to achieve your priorities. I’ve used hypnotherapy in Thame, Wallingford, Reading and Oxford to help people become assertive enough to put themselves first.
What good would it do you, your family, your colleagues if your body one day simply decided to force you into taking notice of stress? Wouldn’t you like to achieve your goals in a less stressful manner?
If you’d like to discuss this further, call me on 07786 123736. Alternatively, email me at paul@resolvedhypnotherapy.co.uk
Best wishes
