Children are as strong and as fragile as eggs
Day after day I sit with people who are troubled because of experiences they endured as children. What’s more, these people aren’t all the children of wholly abusive or neglectful parents.
No, some are simply the children of parents who were overly stressed and a little too snappy at times. Others had a parent too preoccupied with the illness of a loved one and who thus had little energy for their needs.
Some saw the marriage of their parents collapse and lived through the aftermath of mutual recriminations and bitterness.
Many children grow up with parents who are anxious themselves or a little too prone to outbursts of anger. If you are an anxious parent then you will teach your child that the world is a dangerous place.
Your child is watching you all day, every day. If you show any fear then your child will conclude, consciously or unconsciously, that situation A, B, C or situations A to Z are dangerous. Anxiety is contagious from parent to child. Your child is listening and watching. Your views of the world are all important to a child who looks to you for guidance. Anger is contagious too. Show your child that anger is an acceptable tool and they will learn to use it too.
So is the belief that alcohol, shouting, drugs or hiding away is the solution to a problem.
You really don’t have to be an abuser to harm the self-esteem and acceptance of your children.
Eggs are incredibly strong. Take an egg and place one end in one palm and press upon the other end with the other palm. You will find it almost impossible to crush.
Children are a little like that. Children go floppy when they fall over, protecting them from injury. Children are physically resilient, more so than we imagine.
Children are also incredibly fragile, however. Just as it takes no more than a single tap to crack the shell of an egg, children can be hurt by the ones who love them most. They look to us in their early years as a source of self-esteem and worth. One careless comment, borne of stress, could shatter years of patient child-rearing.
I help parents to break such habits. If you can learn to put your anxiety and / or anger behind you then it could help your child to grow up happier, stronger and more resilient in the face of adversity. If you worry that your behaviours may be having a negative impact upon your children then there are things you can do.
You may not be an abusive parent but is your stress doing some unseen harm?
You may feel as if you can cope with the stress in your life. You may believe that your drinking is just on the right side of alcoholism. You may consider that your children are too young to remember the rows and the disputes within an unhappy marriage.
I’m afraid that you may be wrong.
Children are incredibly perceptive. They are built to follow our cues. One scream at the sight of a spider and a child may become arachnophobic.
Children are like sponges and absorb the emotions of others around them. You may not think they notice. They do. I’ve worked with enough of them to know this is a fact.
Your children deserve the best possible you and so, for that matter, do you. If you’re just coping then you can learn to thrive. If you’re getting by then you can do better. Resolve your stress, your phobia, your drinking or smoking for yourself and for the sake of your children. Hypnotherapy will help you and your children will never know how much they have to thank you for.
Contact me for more information of how I can help you to be the best possible you, in order that your children can grow up to be everything they need,want and deserve to be. You can call me on 07786123736 / 01183280284 / 01865600970. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. You could also get in touch using the contact form at the bottom of this page.